About eHope | Who is my Neighbor?

The following poem written by a man living in a Chicago neighborhood, offers a compelling take on the reciprocity that exists between neighbors:

HOW TO  DISAPPEAR
by: Pete Leki

Live somewhere.
A house or apartment.
And say hello to your
neighbors.
and borrow things.
Here's how the saying goes:
Always a borrower and a
lender be.
Lending and borrowin' makes
good neighbors.
Go to your neighbor when
you need sugar.
The next time they need bread
they will come to you.
Borrow onions.
Lend popcorn.
Borrow a leaf rake.
Lend a baby buggy.
Borrow some shoes.
Everybody needs to owe.
Everybody needs to be owed to.

The title suggests that only by disappearing to self - can we (re)connect with our neighbors. The simple act of venturing next door to introduce yourself and humbly borrow from a neighbor begins to reverse the longstanding trend towards anonymity and isolation in America's neighborhoods.

We've reproduced the poem (with the author's permission) along with an overview of declining social capital, in a folding business card which can be printed and passed between neighbors.  

Click on the following links to print 5 folding cards on a standard 8 1/2 x 11 piece of paper:

Front

Back

The next time you find yourself one ingredient short in a recipe, instead of jumping in the car and making a special trip to the store, consider using the opportunity to (re)invest in the social fabric of your neighborhood.

Here's a personal experience from one eHope community member named Getty, living in the Portland area, who shared the lend/borrow concept with her neighbors:

"I have two stories to share about "how people disappear".  I live in a condominium where I often don't see my neighbors.  People have a tendency to get into their cars in their garages, open the electric door, and drive away.  Then when they come home, from about 100 yards away they push the clicker, their garage door opens, they drive in and disappear.  It is a bit different in the summer months, but in the winter I can go weeks without actually seeing a person, just a set of taillights disappearing in the distance.  I might be guilty of this too, except my electric garage door opener does not work. 

So, I decided to take Jeffrey's card and go out and meet some neighbors.  I went to a neighbor's condo and asked to borrow their sprinkler. He is 82, and still goes out lobstering at 4am three days a week  I discovered.  We had a great conversation about how crazy it is for everybody to buy their own "things" when we can share!  I gave him the card and he gave me a big smile. 

Then I went to the condo behind me and I do know this woman because she has a dog, and those are the people I get to see, people who are out walking their dogs.  So, she was telling me about all this swiss chard she has and I gave her the card and asked if I could borrow (have actually) some swiss chard.  I gave them both extra cards, so hopefully they will pass them around.  VERY FUN "

We hope that you will personally consider sharing the card and the lend/borrow concept with at least one of your neighbors and taking a positive step towards reinvesting in the social capital in your own neighborhood.  If you receive a cold or detached response, please don't take it personally - reversing a multi-decade  trend will likely take time and patience.  You may need to follow it up with a few meaningful exchanges across the hedge before a reciprocal relationship begins to evolve.

Whether positive or negative, we are very interested in hearing about your experience(s) in walking this out in your local neighborhood."

None of us is as good as all of us.